Dear WhelmILY 10.10
"The Apple of Mother Nature's Eye"
Many of the blogs I’ve written and the stories I’ve told happened between May - November 2024. I call this part of my timeline my ‘Whelm-awakening’. I know it’s slightly cringy and a little strange, but it really does feel like the months where I finally started paying attention to what we all refer to as ‘The Bigger Picture’. The meaning of life beyond your job, your possessions, your experiences and your limits.
Whelm started as a name for a soundproof room that I wanted to build for Afrikaburn, and then later became the ‘energy’ inside each of us that get influenced by the ‘vibrations’ that I’ve heard many talk about over the last few years. I still need to do more research into the vibrations part (It’s on my to-do list, I promise!), but I do understand the ‘whelm’ part. Some things and some people nourish my whelm, while others tip the balance more into over- or underwhelm.
*Note here: Overwhelm does not always mean something negative! Especially when we CHOOSE the way we are overwhelmed - dancing, exercising, going to a concert… Think about when your senses are in overdrive, your heart is racing, and still you have a big smile on your face <3
In the space of those few months, I learned more about life and business and relationships than I did in all my other years combined. Once I found my dream, my mind was racing at a speed I wasn’t used to, and very few things or people could get me to slow down. I was like an Energizer Bunny on a mission to change the future of education before the little ones I love most had to face the same broken system. I took on so many challenges and was giving myself more every day.
One of these was a lucky draw I hosted to gain support from businesses in town and spread the word about the Burrow so that more parents would be aware of the classes and the help I could offer. Parents didn’t always understand why I was offering classes for free, so I tried showing the community that it could be a combined effort to help all students, even those whose parents couldn’t afford it.
I went around to businesses in town asking if they would like to sponsor prizes for the draw, and was overwhelmed with the support and kindness they offered. One of these stops was ‘Die Kunshuis’ (The Art House).
I have such fond memories of the Kunshuis from when I was little, going there on the days we could go to town instead of going to the shops like the other kids. This quiet, serene spot in the main street of town, and somehow still a hidden gem. I have to admit, I never really appreciated the actual art for what it was - my favourite part was always paging through the visitor’s book and reading the comments from perfect strangers.
There was a lady behind the desk who greeted me in that warm, familiar way only small towns know. I mentioned a bit about my plans for the lucky draw, and she said she would put me in contact with the owner, Stephanie Stone. Growing up in Clanwilliam, everyone knew of Tannie Stephanie. She’s a living legend. I’d never met her, though I used to be close friends with her granddaughter before she went to another school.
With a lot of grace and patience, I finally managed to set up a meeting. It was a combined one — Tannie Stephanie, myself, Elsa (a local rock-climbing artist visiting from Spain), and Mynie, who basically keeps the Kunshuis running. The four of us chatted like old friends catching up over coffee. I didn’t get to talk much about the Burrow or the Lucky Draw that day, but before I left, Tannie Stephanie told me to come visit her at her farm outside town anytime I wanted.
A few weeks went by and because of my energizer bunny state of life as well as difficulty communicating with Tannie Stephanie, I wasn’t able to make the time to go visit her. And then, just as we had set a date for me to go and visit her on the 10th of September… I got into an accident with my dad’s bakkie and lost my transport.
No problem though, Tannie Stephanie said she would come pick me up and take me back to the koshuis (boarding house / school hostel) after dinner. I had promised to cook her dinner of course, as I always do when invited to someone’s home. That way I always knew there was food for me and I could treat someone to a lovely plant-based meal. I packed a few ingredients, and was already planning on what I needed to do when I got back to my room that night.
When we got to her house, Tannie Stephanie took me on a walk on her property. She lives right on the dam, and has the most beautiful fauna and flora - this was also during flower season in Clanwilliam. We managed to find a koekemakranka, Tannie Stephanie’s favourite plant. I also impressed her by spotting a piece of a tortoise shell in an old well under a tree, and was very chuffed with myself on maneuvering between the branches to retrieve it for her.
As we got back to the house, I poured us a glass of wine and she started a fire for us. Just as we sat down, she said she just realized she won’t be able to take me back into town after dinner, as she wouldn’t want to drive in the dark or after having wine. For a few minutes, I was frustrated. I had arranged with the koshuis that I would be back before the kids had to go to sleep, I wanted to get some work done on my laptop, I had no clothes with me, and needed to be up really early to help out with something at the school.
And then I realized it was Mother Nature forcing me to take a night off. To slow down. To focus all my attention on this sweet old lady who had opened her home to me and just wanted to share a glass of wine by the fire.
Nothing had been able to stop me for months, and here I was - finally giving myself a chance to breathe. This was important. This was where I needed to be.
I cooked us dinner while she was on the phone with a friend and there was Opera music playing in the background. While we were eating, we talked about our lives and how fortunate we both have been with the experiences we’ve had and people we have known. She also shared some of her stories about hardships she’s had to endure in the past - losing a daughter at a young age, losing her husband, and feeling lonely living on her own at her age - and then she said something that has changed the way I look at life since:
“Ek is Liewe Jesus se witbroodjie”
The Afrikaans ‘witbroodjie’ literally translates to ‘little white bread’ - and means to be the favoured child. Something I’ve noticed over the past year is that every person deserves to feel like they are the favourite - we have all been through tough times and made it out stronger. We are all just trying our best, based on our experiences and knowledge. Translates to: “I am the apple of God’s Eye”.
This one hit really hard for me. Just the day before I had narrowly escaped death - when I lost control, instead of driving off a mountain I managed to swerve the bakkie into the opposite cliff and walked away with just a tiny scratch on my toe and a sore wrist. And because I couldn’t drive to Tannie Stephanie for a quick walk and a dinner, we had the time to sit in front of the fireplace sharing stories of our lives.
While I was telling her about the emotional trauma of the previous day, she never once told me to wipe my tears or to stop crying. She taught me to notice the moments where angels had quietly stepped in, and to be grateful for every single experience - planned or unplanned. Everything was part of Mother Nature’s plan for me.
That night I got in bed with pajamas that were hilariously huge (matching the feeling in my heart), and the next morning she had left me a neatly folded bloomer on the bathroom sink that’s still in my closet to this day. A daily reminder of the sweet lady who called me an angel and gave me my most treasured life lesson.
I loved this story, I'm glad you're alive, you are perfect to me and Im glad you have been loved I'm glad you have had good people in your life. You deserve the very best.. You are a joy, a blessing and I'm so proud of Lani-Larns and you are a gift. Thank you for most of all for your big beautiful heart.